Today at work, I peed on myself. I am 28 years old and I peed on myself.
I wish I could tell you it was because I rushed an elderly person out of a burning building and I just couldn’t hold it and their life was important than my cleanliness. Or that I was freezing to death and I had to do it to keep myself warm and save my own life. It was neither of those.
Here is what happened…
I was wearing a long cardigan and when I sat down to pee, I had it bunched up on my lap. I peed. I wiped. I stood up and pulled my pants up and when I felt the back of myself it was wet! I was like no! Shit! So I took off my cardigan super fast and held it up. Sure enough there was a wet circle on the back of it. I quickly felt my tunic to see if this was a double whammy. Nothing…whew! Then I held up my cardigan to sniff it…yes, undertones of urine mixed with toilet water. Confirmed.
So I went through the rest of the day sans cardigan while I let it dry out on the back of my desk chair. That is my sad ass story of the week.